Empowering youth in and from government care in BC

How does sexual violence affect the 2S/LGBTQ+ community?

The perceived oversexualization of the 2S/LGBTQ+ community makes sexual violence against queer and trans people seem normal and acceptable. For example, many queer and trans people get asked about their genitals, sexual preferences and/or experiences at inappropriate times which is a form of sexual harassment.

It’s worth noting that queer and trans people’s risk of surviving sexual violence is compounded by other experiences of marginalization such as Indigeneity, being low-income, disability, and racialization.

What could this look like?

• Talking about your body parts in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable (i.e., using feminine language to describe a transgender man or masculine language to describe a transgender woman).
• Having your body or your identity eroticized or fetishized without your consent.
• Touching parts of your body you don’t want to be touched during sexual encounters because of heteronormative expectations of sex.
• Feeling pressured to engage in certain sex acts because “that’s how real men/women do it” or because “that’s normal in our community.”
• Being asked about your genitals, or about surgical procedures.
• Being asked about your sex life or sexual behaviours at times or places that are inappropriate or unsafe.
• Homophobic rape – sexual assault used to punish young queer women, asexual youth and gender-diverse youth for their identities.
• Facing transphobic or homophobic sexual harassment in public spaces.

How can I get help?

While there aren’t many sexual violence services specifically for queer and trans survivors, below are some things to keep in mind when seeking help:

• Don’t bathe or shower before going to the hospital if you have been sexually assaulted.
• Bring a trusted person with you when seeking support.
• Seek affirming and validating mental health support.
• Remember: it’s never your fault.

How can I protect myself?

Sexualized violence against queer and trans young people is not just the result of individual actions—it’s deeply rooted in societal norms and structural systems that enable and perpetuate harm.

Here are some ways to help protect yourself from sexual violence:

• Build a network of support
  • A network of support can include anyone who is non-judgmental, respectful, validating, and has your best interests in mind.
• Share information with trusted people when going out with new potential dates (especially when meeting people from the Internet)
  • Some information you may want to share: your live location, their physical description, the type of car they drive, license plate number, when you’re leaving for the date and returning, and what to do if they don’t hear from you.
• Trust your gut
  • Your body recognizes danger before your mind does. If something feels off, even without a “logical reason,” it’s a good indicator that danger is present.

What can I do if I've caused harm?

If you have done any of the things mentioned above, it’s worth reflecting if you have sexually harmed someone in your life, whether on purpose or not.

Below are some things you can do to address the harm:

• Stop the behaviour.
  • The most important thing is to stop causing harm and to not do it again.
• Talk to someone.
  • While unfortunately there are not many specific resources to help those who have been sexually abusive, it can help to talk to a trusted friend or professional like a counsellor, to get support in understanding and changing your behaviour.
• Apologize if appropriate.
  • Acknowledging the impact of your actions and apologizing accordingly can sometimes help a survivor of sexualized violence in their healing, although they may not want to hear from you and in that case, you should not reach out.
• Surround yourself with supportive and accepting people.
  • Consider connecting with friends who are not judgmental. This could include support groups or online spaces.
• Call out sexual violence when you see it
  • Help decrease sexual violence in your community by speaking out against it.

Remember that you are not defined by your worst actions and you always have the opportunity to grow and change.

Kink versus sexual violence

For some people kink can provide a safe space for self-expression and a deeper connection with their partners.

Kink is an umbrella term for sexual practices, fantasies and identities that are non-conventional, and it can be an important aspect of many people’s sexual expression.

Even though kink can involve power exchange, role-play, and exploring painful and difficult experiences, kink is not the same as sexual violence or abuse because kink is consensual. 

Green flags in sexual encounters

Sex is supposed to be pleasurable and fun for all involved parties. Below are some signs that someone may be a safe person to have a sexual encounter with.

• You can discuss sexual preferences and needs without fear (like what you like and don’t like, how you prefer your body parts to be described, which body parts you’re not comfortable being touched, coming up with safe words, etc.)
• There is no pressure to do any sexual acts you don’t feel comfortable doing (including having sex at all).
• You feel comfortable saying no or asking them to slow down.
• Sexual health is prioritized and can be talked about openly (for example: use of protection, STI testing, taking HIV , etc.)